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  • Writer's pictureDiana Holstein

Who Do Ya Love?

It's February, and Cupid's arrows are flying. For many, these arrows don't make our hearts swell; instead, they remind us of our deepest hurts that make us want to hide.

If you dread Valentine's Day and feel unloved, STOP! Don't let that feeling consume you. There is something you can do. First, you DESERVE love. However, you have to CHOOSE love. Many of us forget that love needs to start in our hearts. If we don't choose to love who we are, why should anyone else?

I once had a friend who would say, "I love me. I think I am fun, funny, and smart! If I were single, I would want to marry me." Then she would let out a huge belly-laugh. Sound arrogant? Well, there is a lot of truth in what she said. Before we can attract anyone else, it is imperative we love ourselves. Remember, no matter where you go, you are there. When you wake, go to work, the gym, or out to eat, there you are. You had better enjoy your company; otherwise, life will drag. Confidence is attractive. And weakness is unappealing.

After you chose to love yourself, evaluate what you are looking for in a mate. Do you want an attractive, successful, fit, and funny guy or gal? Who doesn't? If that is your criteria, what do you bring to the table? Will you only date people who don't have children, when you intend to spend time with yours? Are you looking for the athletic hiker-biker type, when the closest thing you do to an outdoor activity is a barbeque? I am just saying self-evaluate. Don't demand what you can't offer.

Here are some things you can do to love yourself more:

1. If there are things you would like to change about yourself, work on them.

2. If you have a past that you think people will judge, stop. The past is past; you can't change it.

3. If you have a reel of negative self-talk playing in your mind, replace it with positive thoughts.

4. Write down the things you like about yourself, read that list daily, and embrace you.

Diana says, “The only way to get love is to give love. Let Cupid strike your heart.”

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